Husband Wins Argument
INDIANA — March 14, 2065
Hell has officially frozen over after a husband reportedly “won” an argument against his wife late Thursday evening in rural Indiana. Meteorologists confirmed the presence of widespread frost across the ninth circle by midnight.
According to eyewitnesses, the man—identified only as “Dave”—remained calm and confident during what began as a standard disagreement over whether the dishwasher was loaded correctly. Sources report that his final statement, “Technically, that’s not how the manufacturer recommends stacking,” went uncontested.
Local clergy described the event as “biblically unprecedented.” Emergency services reported widespread confusion among husbands nationwide attempting to replicate the miracle, leading to a spike in “It’s not worth it” incidents.
As of press time, Satan was seen shivering under several blankets, muttering about “needing a space heater and a good lawyer.”
Originally filed: October 14, 2025 | Reprinted from the archives of Future Report 2065