WASHINGTON — Apr 8, 2065
FAA Replaces Air Traffic Control with Rear-View Mirrors
Constant government shutdowns force Plan B.
DETROIT — Apr 12, 2065
Dodge Sells First Electric Car
Forty years after production, Stellantis finally sells its first electric Dodge Charger.
PHILADELPHIA — Oct 3, 2065
Bionic Tush Push Sparks Proctology Gold Rush
Cybernetic linemen create a brand-new medical specialty at the goal line.
OXFORD, IN — Jul 14, 2065
Husband Wins Argument
Meteorologists stunned as Hell reports freezing temperatures.
WALL ST. — Oct 24, 2065
Fortune 500 Company Seeks Ethical CEO
A bold, reckless, career-ending hiring experiment.
GLOBAL — Mar 14, 2065
Tesla Acquires Global Oxygen Supply
O₂aaS launches with a hint of pine scent.
LAS VEGAS — Oct 18, 2065
Caesars Entertainment Buys Las Vegas Hospital
All-Inclusive Recovery Suites merge post-op care and loyalty points.
CLIMATE DESK — Jun 11, 2065
Jurassic Pork Dethrones Waffle House
A Colossal Meat experience takes the throne.
CLIMATE DESK — Aug 12, 2065
Cow Farts Reach Critical Mass
42 billion cows, one atmospheric cascade.
SPORTS DESK — Aug 12, 2065
Philadelphia Teams Trial Free Beer Refills
Philly fans react in real time.
NEW BRUNSWICK — Oct 14, 2065
Jets Fans Enter Phase 3 Clinical Trial
Hopevax targets playoff delusions.
ROME — Oct 20, 2065
Sister Bonnie Blue Opens 9th Food Bank
Surplus-capture logistics and holy marketing.
WASHINGTON — Jun 30, 2065
Coders to Cocktails Act Turns 30
The #1 pipeline into hospitality.
TOKYO — Apr 1, 2065
Skibidi Toilet Launches Tokyo Theme Park
GigaFlush Mountain™ dominates skyline.
EAST RUTHERFORD — Sept 14, 2065
Aaron Rodgers Returns for Record 61st Season
Fueling debate over bionic limbs and firmware audits.