Skibidi Toilet Launches Tokyo Theme Park
TOKYO — April 1, 2065
What began as an internet meme, and somehow dethroned Disney as the world’s largest entertainment conglomerate, has flushed conventional wisdom yet again: Skibidi Toilet opened its first Japan park today — a neon-plated shrine to synchronized absurdity, built in collaboration with Nine Flags Entertainment, Inc.
Attractions (Please Keep Hands Inside the Bowl)
The park features several key attractions, including:
- GigaFlush Mountain™ — a high-velocity water coaster swirling riders through porcelain canyons to an EDM remix of enka.
- BPM Bidet Battle — a rhythm game with pressure-sensitive platforms; miss a beat and the crowd gets… misted.
- The Conspiracy Stall — an AR dark ride where animatronic fixtures explain how the meme secretly runs Hollywood.
- ToiletVerse Parade — a nightly cavalcade of chrome fixtures, singing plumbers, and a 60-foot animatronic commode that winks.
Tickets & Lines (Mostly Lines)
Dynamic pricing starts at ¥12,650 for day passes with optional Express Flush — skip the queue once per hour to “go” first. A premium Platinum Plunger tier offers unlimited flush cuts and commemorative porcelain tiles.
Guests wearing SkibiBands can trigger personalized sound effects in restrooms. “We’ve reclaimed the public bathroom as a third place,” said a Nine Flags spokesperson, “after home and work, naturally.”
About Nine Flags Entertainment, Inc.
Nine Flags takes its name from the nine flags said to have flown over Texas — a number marketing insists is correct, even if history teachers keep muttering something about six. Company lore claims the “missing three” were discovered in a storage unit behind a Buc-ee’s, laminated, and immediately licensed.
From its headquarters in Austin’s Theme Park District (zoned “C-3: Carnivalesque”), Nine Flags specializes in turning viral culture into brick-and-mortar experiences that are “family-adjacent and legally sanitized.”
Context
Skibidi Toilet’s rise from meme to megacorp began with a licensing spree, a short-form series that accidentally became prestige TV, and the acquisition of three cruise lines plus a plumbing-supply chain. Analysts say the Tokyo park cements the brand’s global footprint and sets the stage for rumored projects in Dubai, São Paulo, and “somewhere very cold with excellent water pressure.”
Originally filed: October 14, 2025 | Reprinted from the archives of Future Report 2065